When clients ask me what I think they should do about a particular situation, I might often say to them "What do you think you should do?" If they respond with "I don't know" I then ask the question, "What would you do if you did know?". That almost always works and they provide the solution. We have more objectivity available to us than we know when it comes to decision making. Often it's purely a matter of asking the right questions to gain access to the answers that are right for us. Another one of those powerful questions is "What would you do if you knew that you could not fail?" It takes away those doubt thoughts that creep in the moment we come up with a vision for a successful future. These kinds of questions put you in a different state of mind and make you take a look at the situation from a whole other perspective. An exercise that I sometimes ask clients to do is to write a letter, filled with many questions, to the "guru" of their issue. That is, if they're grappling with a business problem, write to a business expert, or if it is relationship related, write to a relationship guru. Once the letter is written, send it to your own address. Put the issue aside and out of your mind until you receive that letter a few days later in your mailbox. Receive the letter and open it as though you are the expert who as just opened their mail. Pretend that you receive mail like this every day from hundreds of people around the world. You 'are' the expert and know a great deal about this topic plus you 'have' a history of experience in dealing with these issues because you have helped thousands of people who have the very same questions and concerns. Write a response to the letter from that perspective and objectively. Remain detached from the fact that this is your personal issue - remember, a perfect stranger has just mailed this letter. Once you (the guru/expert) has replied fully to the letter, send it in the mail. Once more, to your own address. Again, disregard the issue and allow your subconscious to do with it what it will over the period that the letter is in transit back to you. Upon receipt of the expert's reply back in your own mail box, either completely take action on the advice given in the letter or finally decide that it's all too hard and choose to not take action in this area of your life at all. Exercises like this one, or particular question techniques, can support with removing us from the issue at hand and give an ability to look at it from a distance so that we can relate to it more objectively and in a detached manner. Most times we are too close to something and cannot see wood for trees or we have past-based thoughts tied in with a current scenario. Find any way that you can to take yourself away from that kind of mind-play and allow yourself to be ruthlessly honest about what your next step needs to be. |
