A client of mine recently shared a wonderful story about butterflies and the value of struggling.

If you have ever had the privilege of watching the amazing process of a butterfly leaving its cocoon, you know it's quite a struggle. Well, it seems some scientists, in their wisdom, found a way to get butterflies out of their cocoons without a struggle.

What they found, however, was that the butterflies that had to struggle out of their cocoons lived longer, flew better and were more beautiful than the butterflies that were removed without a struggle.

The value of struggle

Besides saying something about the value of struggle, I believe the story also says something to us about the difference between science and success.

Struggle makes us stronger. When we successfully deal with an obstacle, we begin to build momentum. With continuous momentum, obstacles that once appeared huge become just the next thing to get out of our way.

Maybe it's like something Tom Hanks' character said in the movie "A League of Their Own." One of the players was complaining about how hard something was and Hanks responded,

"Of course it's hard. That's what makes it good."

Or perhaps it's like I say to many of my clients as they struggle to grow and improve their lives:

"I won't promise you the struggle will be easy, just worth it."

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com