Talking about feeling good is well and good when youre feeling good. But how can you feel good when you feel bad? Its a little bit like that couple who, as they were filing their divorce papers, were reminded of the vows they made on their wedding day promising to love each other in good times and bad. The answer always is, But I didnt know the bad times were going to be so bad! Preaching the feel good lesson to the person who is knee-deep in problems, is going to evince only one response. Change my situation and Ill feel as happy as you want me to feel. But so long as my life is full of problems how can I feel anything but lousy. Well, heres the deal, according to Lynn Grabhorn. To start feeling better find out exactly why youre feeling bad. What makes your heart pump with anxiety, keeps you awake at night, gives you that feeling of doom as you sit at your office desk going through the routine of your daily work. It might be that your problems are the usual ones - not enough money to pay the bills, credit card debt getting out of hand, car falling to pieces and you cant afford to get a new one. As many problems as you have, try to isolate the one that really has you hopping. The one that you cant shake off. The one that never leaves your consciousness. Having chosen the most pressing problem of the moment, you must now decide not to think about it. Easier said than done youll say, and keep right on thinking about it, because the reason you cant stop thinking about it is that it is your biggest problem. To change your focus you need to ease yourself into not thinking about it. Keep on reassuring yourself that you dont have to do anything about it. You dont have to solve it. What you do need to do is to make yourself feel better. And youll start feeling better when you cease thinking about your problem. In order to shake your mind loose, find a substitute good feeling for the bad feeling that youre currently having. If the one thing that your mind wont let go off is the mortgage payments you cant make, having identified this, substitute a feel good thought which in this case could be how easily youre making the payment, and how good that makes you feel. Try to stay in that good feeling for as long as you can, but for at least sixteen seconds at a time. Its more than likely that you will be constantly interrupted by gloom and doom. Dont panic. Ask yourself whats causing you this discomfort and then substitute a warm feeling of everything is fine. Dont just think Im making the mortgage payments easily, but rather allow yourself to feel the pleasure of being in that situation of making your payments. According to Lynn Grabhorn, our feelings have created what we currently have, and our situation will change with the change in our feelings. As everyone will tell you, its impossible to find the right solution while your mind is exploding with anxiety. Once you allow yourself to feel good, inspired solution, as opposed to one generated by fear, will come to your rescue. |
