Ive got this strange friend; her name is Maria. Marias always been a little weird but now things have gotten unworldly altogether. You see, Marias an artist; shes into sculpture in particular, of which she specializes in the manipulation of Perspex with a blowtorch. Lately I havent seen too much of her as shes hooked up the Internet. Actually not many people at all have seen her recently; she says shes working on a big project.

Now that shes got the Internet she reckons she can focus a lot more on her work without distractions. She doesnt waste time doing grocery shopping anymore. Now she orders all her food and household items. She says if shes extremely busy, her weekly list is saved into the computer, and she just clicks on order and the usual stuff is delivered to her door every week. No more driving, parking, searching for stuff, standing in line, dealing with bored and under slept cashiers. Im starting to think its not such a bad idea. Maria is pretty proud. Shes now organizing for a local greengrocer to deliver her fruit and vegetables too.

Maria has always had a thing for Donald Duck. On the Net shes found all these rare collectable dealers like Ebay. When shes not warping Perspex into postmodern configurations representing the need for a more spiritual existence, shes thriving in the consumerist world of finding and bidding for Donald Duck comic books from the 1950s. Last I heard a friend said shes actually starting to look like a duck herself!

All this Internet shopping is pretty new to me, it sounds like it really could help a lot of people out. However for recluse artists it could be the final straw for friends and family who may never see their buddies again! Nah, its cool-I just hope Marias new project isnt a giant Perspex Donald Duck. I dont think the world needs any more Donald Ducks!

I just got back from Marias place. Youre not going to believe what I saw. She was actually having a party, and I wasnt invited. Maybe she thinks Im boring compared to her new friends. She says she met them on the Internet, a whole bunch of people into Donald Duck! One guy was actually dressed up like Yosemite Sam-gun belt and all! It seems Im the odd one out.

Before I left her place she showed me her new sculpture. I underestimated her newfound love. Its a giant computer; inside it is filled with the heads of all her friends (me included). Of course none of us had human mouths, smiling duck beaks adorned all the heads, a definite sign of the Internets powerful influence, and of the collective warping of todays society!