Being a parent is the hardest job youll never get a paycheck for. In fact, I think before you can become a parent you should take a Parenting Equivalency Test (P.E.T.). After all, parenting is the most important job on the planet, ironically anyone can be a parent, but everyone isnt qualified to parent. Many parents cant put together a cohesive thought let alone teach their kids how to succeed. I think its high-time the United States Government starts issuing parental licenses. If you cant find your state on a map you shouldnt be allowed to pro-create. We should round up terrible parents and sterilize them immediately. The offspring of terrible parents should each be given a free college education, a get out of jail free card, voodoo dolls in the likeness of their parents and a bag of needles. Its not these childrens fault they were born before the P.E.T. program was introduced. Its our fault. We allowed dumb parents to bear children. No savings account? No kids. No diploma? No boom-boom. Didnt finish your GED? Dont finish. I think you get my point. Im only half-joking. I dont want the government regulating parenting, but you must admit there are a lot of idiots raising kids. Take the parents of some of my daughters friends for instance: I wish you were like my friends parents.: What do you mean? They let her smoke and drink as long as she doesnt do it in front of them I guess Ill never be cool because if I catch you using drugs or alcohol Im grounding you for 3 months What is cool parent exactly? The words cool and parent should never appear in the same sentence. This brings me to Silvia Johnson. If you havent heard of Silvia Johnson let me bring you up to speed. Silvia Johnson is the so-called cool mom who held parties for teenage boys almost weekly between October 2003 and October 2004. This horrible mom and danger to society, provided drugs and alcohol to eight boys and had sex with five of them. On November 15th, according to CNN, this cool mom was sentenced to 30 years, to which she probably replied, not cool dude. Lets see how cool Ms. Johnson is when she steps out of prison in 2035 in an orange jumpsuit and flip-flops. Good ole Silvia Johnson is a prime example of parenting gone wrong. Way wrong. Im a good dad. I provide food, shelter and structure for my children. My daughter is only 15; who cares if she thinks Im cool? My daughter wants what all teenagers want: freedom. Its my job not to give it to her. These are the rules of parenting. I cannot allow my daughter to screw up her life on my watch. When she becomes 21 or Im dead she can be free, until then Im the sheriff and her freedom must be earned. If you ask me, my daughters friends could use some good parenting instead of this so called new age cool parenting. Cool parenting is just another word for child-neglect and child -endangerment. Call me old-fashioned, but I still believe underage drinking and drug experimentation have no place in the home, it should be done where its always been done, at college. |
