In love relationships, there is a set of steps guaranteed to inflame a disagreement and a set of steps to diffuse a disagreement.

Here are some sure fire ways to inflame a disagreement.

1. Be offended when your partner disagrees with you. How dare they!

2. Think helpful and loving thoughts such as "How could you possibly see this situation in any other way but my way?"

Forget that you chose this person because you liked how they thought and saw things.

3.Believe you have a monopoly on truth and your view is the only one that could possibly be correct.

4. Fight hard for the right to be right.

5. Try to convince, debate, and argue your partner into seeing the current issue and everything your way.

It does NOT work.

The Beatles got it right when they sang:

"Try to see it my way, we can keep on talking 'til we can't go on. Try to see it your way, run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone."

6. Bring up volumes of evidence from the past to prove your point and throw it up in the face of your partner. Then wonder why things get worse. It's like throwing gas on a fire and wondering why the fire got worse, since the gas was wet.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com