Unfaithfulness - As it is ending a relationship is difficult. It is even harder for the person in the relationship who is giving all he/she has only to find out that their partner has been unfaithful. How do they handle it? Will they bounce back or, NOT be able to be in relationship for a very long time? Will they become bitter? Will they give up on relationships all together? Will they ever be able to trust? All of these things may be possible as a result of unfaithfulness. Some people are even driven to murder. I certainly have been there and felt this kind of rage and anger. It comes out of pain and betrayal. I am not saying these feeling are right or justified. I am just acknowledging that they happen. When you begin to suspect that your partner is being unfaithful you dont want to believe it. However the evidence keeps piling up. You get scared and if you are like me you try to work even harder to make the relationship work. At the same time in desperation you start to dig and look for more evidence to support your suspicion. All the while hoping that you are wrong. This is why you believe every lie you are being told. You believe every explanation given for the inconsistencies you have begun to track. You are in denial. The unfaithfulness continues. Now your friends and people you know are noticing that something is bothering you. Some of them even know that your partner is cheating. Your true friends are telling you that they suspect your husband/wife is cheating but you dont believe them because you are in denial. With people watching and telling you what you already know deep down the pressure is mounting. You are going to have to confront your partner. Finally the truth comes out. Whether by confession or discovery of conclusive evidence the unfaithfulness is now out in the open. You are devastated. For whatever reason your partner does not seem to care. Sometimes it can even be worst than this. Sometimes they convince you that they know they have made a mistake and that they want to make the relationship work. You believe them against your better judgment and go through the same thing all over again. Now you are twice destroyed. All you can think of is death. You want to die. You want to kill and punish. But alas if you are sane all there is for you to do is endure the unbelievable pain that is in every part of your being. You hurt all over. You dont eat. You will hurt for months, years, and maybe even a decade. After a lot of time finally you become functional again but what about love and relationships? You meet a few people but nothing ever develops. You usually end up finding a way out because, when you think about getting involved in another relationship all it takes is one thought about your past and you decide right then and there that you dont want another relationship. So even if you have forgiven and done your best to let go of the past it still affects you. There is no doubt that given enough time and meeting the right person a new relationship can be had. But this article reveals how fragile the human heart can be. Relationships should not be taken lightly. Take every step to make sure that your relationship is being built upon a strong foundation (not sex). Know the person you are getting involved with. What is their character, beliefs, and way of life? You can never know completely before you get married, but you should endeavor to take all the time you need. It is better to take extra time at the beginning than to need so much time after devastation to recover from a broken heart. Unfaithfulness is can kill any relationship and it can happen to anybody. For the person on the receiving end the effects last a lot longer. It doesn't seem fair but this is life. Because it is life we must get over it. All I can tell you here is that holding on to the past only makes the pain, anger, and whatever else last a lot longer. These things must be let go. Stop embracing them and embrace something else. You must embrace love. Only in embracing love and letting go of the past can you find healing. From the bible, "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love will last forever.." (1Cor 13:4-8) Love is a safe place. If you don't know love allow me to introduce Him. God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him might not die but have everlasting life. Jesus is that Son. Jesus says,"No better love has any man than to give His life for His friend." You say why should I have to be the one to have to do all this? Because you are the one hurting. This is the way to healing. |
